Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Meet Daisy!


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Meet Daisy from Simply Relished! She wanted to share some long distance relationship tips with you today. Stop by and leave her some love here and on her blog, Simply Relished! 

Long-distance relationships are hard.

 It is so easy to feel frustrated, misunderstood, and generally disconnected. So what makes a long-distance relationship worthwhile? Should you stay in it? Should you go your separate ways? Before I continue, I should note that I am not familiar with everyone's circumstances and am not presenting a diagnosis or prescription. Bad things can proceed from what appears good, and good things can proceed from what appears bad.

  So this is not so much of a "how-to" as it is a "how we"-- how we made it. It is part of the story of how my husband and I survived (and thrived) through four years of dating long distance: years of great joy and great pain, but mostly joy. If you are considering going the distance, here are some good reasons to give it a try.

  1. You have a relationship trajectory. This does not necessarily mean that you have agreed to get married, but you do have an idea of where the relationship is going. You know why you are with this person. You both desire the same things in your lives and in your relationship. You've got a shared direction.

  2. You can thrive without them. This does not mean that you won't miss this person, sometimes deeply and painfully. It also does not mean that your life isn't greatly benefited by their presence. But you do know that you can grow in the ways you want to grow, succeed in your work and play, and genuinely experience joy, even when the other person is not around. You can build friendships without him or her. You can enjoy community without him or her. You see yourself content even when you miss him or her. This will help you survive the distance in a healthy way.

  3. You're not interested in other fish. Some people land their finest and forever love in their first relationship. This was true of my husband. Others would like to date more than one person before settling down. I'm not talking about unfaithfulness; just the stage of being genuinely unsure. If this is not a nagging doubt in your mind-- even in the deepest recesses-- then long-distance is on the table. But if you want to meet more people and be open to the possibility of seeing others (one at a time, of course), then a long-distance relationship will stand in your way, and breaking up later will be painful.

  4. You are disciplined and have good daily habits. This is a tough one but an important one. We are created to be in close physical proximity to those we love, but long-distance relationships require a certain type of attentiveness that normal relationships do not. With regular daily rhythms and the ability to stick to a schedule, you can commit to chatting with this person on a regular basis. You can make time for them and listen to their needs and experiences. And, most importantly, you can keep those habits that make you who you are-- so that when they see you again, they'll still recognize and know you.

  5. You are practiced at conflict-resolution. Conflict is inevitable in long-distance relationships (and relationships in general). Miscommunications happen, as do surprises. One of my biggest struggles during long distance was that we were unable to share close friends. For some time I felt misunderstood and unknown by his community. These are natural and painful aspects of the long-distance season. But being able to healthily and gently resolve conflict can help rebuild that trust and closeness. "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" are words you can become accustomed to saying. And as time goes by, your conflict-resolution skills will improve for the better.

 My husband and I spent the year before our wedding in the same neighborhood. What a huge relief it was! Still, in so many ways I remain grateful to this day that we were apart for those years. We learned so much. Many people have asked me how I knew that he was the one I wanted to marry. While I would love to tell that story some other time, I'll share this piece by Olive Chan on how to know whether you've found the man (or woman) to marry. Now that I am married, I know that I couldn't agree with her more!
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Monday, October 20, 2014

Weekly Wishes, the one with the freak out

Ah, Monday, you always seem to put a damper on things. This week has been pretty stressful in trying to get everything washed and put away from my trip last week. I have so many gorgeous photos to share with you of the Appalachian Mountains, but they will have to wait until I have the energy to edit them.

 Part of my "New Fibro life" is following doctors orders. And those orders are to limit myself. I can no longer do the OCD type housework, work on crafts for the Etsy store, blog weeks out, AND get to all the emails and walking the dog, and all of the other little stuff that comes up, in one day. The Dr.'s orders are to remain stress free during a flare up, (haha, what does that even mean) and limit myself, to really listen to my body and know when I am pushing myself too far. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And my body lies to me! It's saying, oh yeah, we have enough energy to vacuum and change the bed sheets, but after doing those things, I'm down for the count. The nerve! (haha see what I did there?)

Anyway, enough griping, lets get to this week's wishes.

I'm so happy Melyssa from The Nectar Collective came up with this link up! It's a great way to list your to-do list online, and hold yourself accountable!

The Nectar Collective


1. Finish crocheting my scarf and blanket. I have been working on this Bobble blanket for about 8 months now. I just pick it up for about an hour while watching TV at night, and it feels like it's never going to be finished! I made it too long, thinking I'd have to share it with Ginny, and it could be long enough to fit on a bed... yeah, way too long for a throw blanket! So, I'm hoping to finish it this week so I can scratch that off the list. Plus, while visiting my BFF last week, I started a bobble scarf in the softest yarn. I want to finish that fast because it's starting to get chilly here!

2. Clean out To-Sew basket.  I still have things to sew for folks and things to patch up for us that need to be done ASAP, as well as a couple more Elsa capes that need to get out of my house because I am so over sewing these things! 

3. Enjoy a couple more long walks with Ginny. Winter is coming, and I want us to enjoy the time we have left before being cooped up in the house for the Winter. 

4. Get through the MRI without freaking out. Facts are, I'm very claustrophobic, and I have a spine MRI on Thursday. Yeah, recipe for disaster, folks. The doctor did give me something to relax me, but I know the moment they start moving me into that coffin like tube, I'm going to freak. I'll be reciting prayers like nobody's business, rain-man style. 


How about you? Any big wishes on your to-do list this week? Comment below!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Quotes, you say?

  Helene in Between came up with a Blogtober idea where you blog everyday in the month of October... yeah, I haven't done that. BUT, I'm enjoying the last morning of my BFF vacay waiting for the sun to come out so we can go outside and play with my camera! These Appalachian Mountains are absolutely stunning, and I want the best sun when we take photos. SO, until that happens, we are messing around, having laughs at her somewhat street (ghetto) dog, and doing bloggie things over coffee.

  Back to the Blogtober, I did like today's prompt, Favorite quote and why, so I'm going to do that one today! 

My favorite quote is this:

 The why is this: 

  Ever since learning about Queen Elizabeth in school, I am utterly fascinated with her. Here comes this girl, with the whole world against her, including her immediate family, and she conquers all against the odds. How awesome is that? She is the epitome of a strong woman to me. How much strength did she have to have to 1. be a woman in her time period and 2. lead and make a kingdom successful? She's beyond amazing. So, when I came across this quote from her, I knew it was to be my favorite for all the obvious reasons. I often joke that who knows what I would've become if my body would keep up with my wants. Well, I sort of know, I would've went into the military and wouldn't have stopped climbing that ladder until I am at the top. I also joke when we watch some secret spy movie that I could have been that, or that, or something else where I'm a tough cookie.


  But, God had other plans for me, and I'm okay with that. I can have the body of a weak and feeble woman, because I know, deep down, that I, too, have the heart and stomach of a king. 



Helene in Between Blogtober

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