Aug 6, 2013

Marriage and Relationship Goals- August Challanges

 So, I've linked up with two amazing women, Kayln and Amberly to do a Monthly marriage and relationship goals challenge, and I think it will be challenging, but fun also!

OK, so the idea behind this is glorious! I'm forced to sit down and think about what I want to work on in my marriage and I am held accountable for it once a week then at the end of the month. Perfect right? I HAVE to do this or you guys can rag me about it. :)

Sitting here thinking about this, my main trouble is submission. I know, I know- it sounds so 1940s. But my Bestie (another Jessica) and I were just having this discussion last week. A guy seems all macho and tough, but if you continually railroad him about things, he will start to feel emasculated.

Now, for a little back story. I have an introverted personality to everyone. Once you are in my life for awhile, I'll bring you into the inner circle. It sounds crazy, but it's how I work. There's probably only 10 people in there right this moment. This is something I have to pray about and know that if God continually brings people in my life that I need to trust they aren't some serial killer who's out to get me but a friend, and I'm working on this folks ;)

Anyway, so to the inner circle people, I am not so introverted. I realize I am like a freight train when I'm on a mission and I'm a total fixer. One of the inner circle people brings me a problem, I will railroad everything in my path- and theirs, to fix this as fast and as efficient as possible. This being said, it's no different from how I handle things with Husband. And moving to a different home is one situation where this comes out in me. Husband, on the other hand, is as calm and cool as a cucumber. Now, me being me, and him being him- I will run slap over this poor guy and not even notice until he stands in front of me, telling me to slow down.

So for me, submission to my Husband is not like, "Oh yes Sir, would you like me to rub your feet, Sir? Would you like me to be your human foot stool Sir? No, submission to me is calming down, and waiting for him to take control of a situation and lead me. Now, if I still think I know a better way of doing something, I will speak out, but in a calm way. A way he will not feel like I'm railroading him, or in a way where he will feel as if I'm his helpmate, like God wants us to be. Oftentimes I think, OK God wants us to be the quintessential submissive wife (Eph. 5:22-23) Which tells us to be submissive, but not HOW to be. And I think that is because no one cookie cutter way is going to work for everyone. I think it should be your own ideas. You know yourself best, you know what you struggle with in your marriage or in your personality. I know we all can look back at Prov. 31:10-31 and kinda see what a perfect wife should be all about, but you have to relate that to your own life, and find the weak points and make them strong.

For the monthly challenge, there isn't really a list, per say, that I can come up with to help me with this. Submission is my main goal, and I will update every Tuesday about how this is going for me and if I see a difference in Husband.

What are some of your ideas about being the "Submissive Wife"? I'm all ears!

Marriage and Relationship Goals Link-up Mission Statement: Monthly Marriage and Relationship Goals are simple goals that we, as wives or girlfriends, can personally make each month in order to strive for the very best in our relationships without ever growing complacent in serving our significant other. Overall, the link-up portion of this series will serve to facilitate accountability as women join together to share encouragement and inspirational motivation for completing challenges each month by beginning with broad goals and working through each week creating more specific goals. At the end of the month, we will summarize what was accomplished, the successes we've had and what we could have done better. We would love for you to link up with us and share your posts each week as we strive in different ways to serve our significant other with more intentionality and purpose.

Marriage & Relationship Goals

"Not setting goals and objectives for a relationship is like a ship setting sail for the land of nowhere in particular"
1. Follow your hosts via GFC or Bloglovin'
2. Post the Marriage & Relationship Goal button in your post or on your sidebar
3. Link up your relationship BLOG POST
4. Visit other blogs, find inspiration for future goals, and encourage the other women in their quest to achieve great things!


  1. Jess, I love this. I'm not married yet, but I sure do have a lot of things I could work on. Its great having the monthly goal and I hope to one day be able to share my goals with you guys.

  2. Thanks, Grace! I'm also using this month to focus more on the friendships part, too! Life is busy for everyone, and it's hard to make time to connect, but I'm going to try my hardest!

  3. I love this!!! :) I think it's a great goal. I can completely see where you are coming from! Thanks for linking up with us! :)

    1. Thank you, Amberly! And thank you for hosting the link up!

  4. Jess I had to laugh because seriously you and I have similar characteristics. I am an introvert, fixer, and a steamroller. I totally would steamroll my husband daily for the first 3.5 years of our marriage. On occasion my steam engine does turn on but because of a conscious effort to submit the Holy Spirit convicts me anytime I get the urge to do it. Lately I have been allowing myself to be more and more submissive and even though its hard the rewards have been phenomenal. Husbands are bound to make mistakes when taking the lead but at one point I was making them too. When I allow my husband to lead I love how much he dotes on me and how feminine, loved, an protected I feel. In society I think women are made to feel bad about being feminine or being taken care of by a man. I was raised by independent women so all of this is foreign to me, but I know this is how God design marriage to be and I'm really loving it. The intimacy in our marriage grows more and more as I submit to my husband and I like it that way.

    The Word of A Nerd

    1. Haha! Charity, we will celebrate our 1 year anniversary this month, so I think this monthly challenge will help tremendously! Exactly how I feel, too! Women are supposed to be this stuff gal "I don't need a man" type and sometimes it is nice just to be the wife! I love your blog by the way!

  5. I SO love this post! Thank you so much for taking the time to post and linkup with us! I think if all wives are honest, submission is something that we all struggle with from time to time. There is a great bible study by Kay Arthur called A Marriage Without Regret and it speaks highly of submission and the roles of a man and woman in marriage. I cant wait to see where you head along this journey this month!

    1. Hi Kayln! Thank you! I will definitely have to research that bible study. Thank you for hosting the link! This will be a challenge, that's for sure, but I know the rewards will be great!


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